A Moment of Honesty...

Dear Friends,

This year is already proving itself to be...well, interesting to say the least. Already I am having to make some tough decisions. Decisions that I should have made long ago. Like whether loving myself or loving someone else is more important. Sounds like an easy enough question I know. But when you are looking at an amazing love like the one I have had the privilege of experiencing, that question seems a little more difficult to answer. Don't get me wrong, I think that I am the bomb! Anyone that has had the pleasure of knowing me will tell you that I go through fazes when (LOL) I really do believe that. Thank God! Anyhoo, I believe part of making a lifetime commitment to someone is that sometimes our relationships require a little self sacrifice especially when its mutual. It's when it's not mutual that a problem arises. Or when a person decides that they are no longer willing to sacrifice because the cost is too great. But people, let me share something with you...ALL love has a price. I can't tell you what price you will pay for love in your life but it definitely costs! Some worth it and some you could have saved your breath for. But you and only you can make that decision for yourself.

I have lost great friends (male and female), family, jobs, my home, my health (mental and physical) and last but not least, what I believed to be the love of my life. Everything I have known for the last 18 years has been compromised. I have gone beyond my limits to revive these things. In my opinion, it was worth all of the sweat and tears behind it. But, what I have come to realize is that those things are gone and there is nothing that I can do about them. The great thing about all of them is that outside of love, it can all be either fixed or replaced.

If I can share anything about my experience with you its this, real unconditional love is out there. I have had it. It's wonderful and possible. And if you are at all a religious or spiritual person, don't let go of that. When I thought that God had left me for dead he showed up at the right time, his time and comforted me (well God and a few nights of handy prescriptions, lol). Don't be bitter it's not becoming of a real lady or gentleman. My grandma always says that you can catch more bees with honey than vinegar. And lastly if you are in a relationship that is not mentally and or physically abusive fight until you can't fight anymore. But remember that it has a cost!

I also want to say thank you to my friends and family that haven't left. I need you and love you. And will never forget that you have stood by me with a flashlight when I was in the dark. To my friends and family that have gone, I miss and love you. You remain a great part of who I am and who I will become.

I have a loooong road ahead of me and from what I hear I will come back to the light on my own one day. Until then I will keep running towards the end of the tunnel because I know that's where the light is supposed to be. LOL

Knowing EVERYTHING and NOTHING at the same time,

Miss Know It All

A Moment of Honesty...

Happy Birthday to ME!

"Now is the accepted time, not tomorrow, not some more conveient season. It is today that our best work can be done and not some future day or future year. It is today that we fit ourselves for the greater usefulness of tomorrow. Today is the seed time, now are the hours of work, and tomorrow comes the harvest and the playtime" - W.E.B Du Bois

Miss Know It All

Happy Birthday to ME!

Happy New Year!!

As I prepare to move forward into the New Year, I am spending a lot of time reflecting on a great part of what transpired in 2008. Now, I have to tell you that although I am spending time reflecting, I'm not harping on any one thing in particular. If I focus too much on what happened in the past, I am bound to run into some trouble in the future for lack of foresight. So with that said, I guess you could say that I'm more focused on making 2009 the best year for the best ME that I can be.

I thank all of the wonderful people that have come into my life and gotten cozy, for the women that have become like sisters to me and the men that have become like brothers to me, all of that love was needed to help me push forward through 2008. My family at the National Black Arts Festival...WOW! Kristin, Jamey, Christel, Shari (and family!) If i got specific it wouldn't be enough.

It has been quite sometime since I have made resolutions but, I think it's time. I think I am going to begin by working on not what I haven't accomplished but what I did find success in, asses those things and prepare to follow up and follow through to completion. I will build on that list and pepper it with new stuff to do that is obtainable for me.

Here are some things that I am going to start on...no order in particular...

• participating in more poetry readings/open mics


• selling my completed (yes, completed) chapbook of poetry


• entering more poetry contests


• pampering myself a little more (lol)


• picking up a few consulting projects

All obtainable, all realistic. I would love to hear from you to see what you have pile on your plate of dreams and goals for 2009. Until then...

Be peace...be love,

Miss Know It All

Happy New Year!!

Post Birthday Blah, Blah

"The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy." Jim Rohn

FYI, I ended up having a WONDERFUL birthday. It was spontaneous, thoughtful and fun. Hubby made an effort to make me happy on MY day and that was important to me. The most imperative part of the success of the day is that I made peace with myself for the moment and put down expectations of myself and others and let the day flow, giving honor to God for waking me up that morning and letting me experience the gift of life, an experience that I have taken for granted on too many days, even when I don't think that I do.

The party continues for the rest of the week and through out the weekend. Any suggestions for cool things to do?

Miss Know It All

Post Birthday Blah, Blah

Yes! Happy Birthday to ME!!

So midnight has come and gone and at that time I got neither a phone call from the love of my life nor did I achieve my gaol for a hangover (thank God!). I did however receive my first birthday call from an unexpected source and she rescued me from my own pity party and sat with me and laughed until I got sleepy. I think today might be a good day after all. Besides, I'm alive and have a second chance on life today.

1Peter 5:7

Stay tuned for the Post Birthday Report!

Miss Know It All

Yes! Happy Birthday to ME!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME?!

As I begin to reflect on my life in order to see where I have been in terms of trying to figure out where I am going, I feel a great sense of loss. Don't get me wrong, I have lived a wonderful life but I find myself wondering, is this it? Has the best already been given to me and I was too busy reveling in the awe of it all that I couldn't grasp all that was truly meant for me and at the same time hold on to it without some of it spilling out of my hands and melting onto the floor?

It's almost midnight in Atlanta, Georgia and for the first time that I can remember in quite sometime, I am alone on my birthdays eve. It may not seem like a big deal to many but tonight, this loneliness that I feel is meaning the world to me. That lack of that feeling like someone in this world is just as or more than excited about who you are and all of the hopes and dreams that you put into a single candled wish on your birthday.

Don't get me wrong, I love me and the intimate moments that I spend by myself and I do believe that if I can't be happy by myself then I won't be happy with anyone else but in all honesty, tonight, I'm missing those moments.

So at midnight, I will see what this new birth year brings. Perhaps a new attitude after a vodka induced sleep, a sweet phone call from the love of my life or maybe I'll just be hungover. At any rate, if Gods willing and the creek don't rise...I talk to you tomorrow.

Miss Know It All aka Birthday Girl

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME?!

Learning To Let Go or Blessing the Boats

As I come to a NEW place in my life, I am discovering a lot of things. Not only about myself and the I wishIcouldof wouldofshouldof's and the whys but I am learning about real loss and what that means to me. I am learning about love and how is feels and how much of it am I willing to give on this journey. I am learning that it's not smart to travel with holes in your pockets because eventually you will loose all of your stuff...no matter how secure you think your stuff may be. A hole...is a hole. Security, maintenance, dedication and commitment. I'm thinking of all of these things. What does it all mean?

I have included in this post a poem by Lucille Clifton, Blessing the Boats. I guess at this time for me its a dedication of sorts to the things that I'm losing or the things that I feel that I have lost. A reason for quiet and contemplating...a reason to dig deep and find the light. Enjoy... Miss Know It All

blessing the boats

by Lucille Clifton
(at St. Mary's)

may the tide
that is entering even now
the lip of our understanding
carry you out
beyond the face of fear
may you kiss
the wind then turn from it
certain that it will
love your back may you
open your eyes to water
water waving forever
and may you in your innocence
sail through this to that

Learning To Let Go or Blessing the Boats

It's Cinco de Mayo! (that's the 5th of May)

Cinco de Mayo, a great day of celebration for our Mexican friends and those of us that just want to celebrate to show support. Our independence or independence for all individuals is not only important but necessary. All that we take for granted, all that our grandparents and those before them fought for we celebrate and honor on days like this. So, even if your not Mexican but love the food...remember what this day is for. If you are looking for some more history or would just like to know how to make a kick-ass Margarita click here.


Keep your indulgences responsible... I like having you around,

Miss Know It All

It's Cinco de Mayo! (that's the 5th of May)

Thee Days Down...Two More To Go!

Happy May 1st everyone! Sorry I haven't blogged in a minute but I have been taking time to explore my life in all of its splendor, richness and lack thereof.


Well, last night, Family Movie Night, my kids and I decided to make pizza. The 5 year old made a delicious turkey peperoni pizza with a tomato base that oozed with creamy mozzarella (she just loves counting all of those circles). My lovely 9...excuse me 91/2 year old made a scrumptious vegetarian pizza. Sun-dried tomato pesto base, creamy mozzarella, a aromatic & nutty Parmesan cheese, pineapples, red onion, and get this...veggie chicken strips. WOW! It was so delicious, inexpensive and quick. These nights with my girls are important and a lot of fun. They are eating relatively healthy and they really enjoy taking pride in the end result.


Days like this reminds me of what my life is really about. Why I do what I do (work, write, live explore..) and why its important that I do it with such fever and confidence. They enjoy watching me grow and being a part of that world. I enjoy sharing. It opens up a dialogue that otherwise may not take place between homework and bedtime. Besides, having Chris Brown serenade us in the background added extra fun and opportunity too learn the newest dance crazes between the sprinkles of cheese and getting the pizzas in the oven.


What is your recipe for happiness and success? Is it taking time for your family as I have or is it a 30 minute Swedish massage to rejuvenate yourself? Try to make it a part of your weekly if not daily routine to take time for those moments that require very little of you but that mean a whole lot as to how you function and produce on a consistent bases.


Whatever it is that you do, I would love to hear about it. Please leave your comments in the comments section below this post.


Ciao,
Miss Know It All

Thee Days Down...Two More To Go!

I've Been In Cali Yall!

Bright lights in the big city, great food, family, and friends, dreams and possibilities.

Hope floated in wide night skies, memories, breath and memories again. I don't remember feeling the sting of absence as a child as I played on the soft green grass that grew in Daddies yard, moments again passed...reminded me of my own children...waiting...hopeful, dreaming.

I thought of times more innocent than these of financial obligation, love and then love again. My mouth waters at the taste... love. Its bitter scent fills my nostrils and I choke...love.

Bags packed, good-byes said, pocketed for next time, kept hart warm and marinating for a re-birth of long awaited kisses from now southern lips. Different like spring-time...new.

Glad to be back feeling my way through this dry spring,

Miss Know It All

I've Been In Cali Yall!

Big Boi & the Atlanta Ballet Present the World Premier of ...BIG

Antwan " Big Boi" Patton, the other half to Atlanta's dynamic duo Outkast, and the Atlanta Ballet premiered the show BIG last night at the Fabulous Fox Theatre in Atlanta, Georgia. Many questioned the marriage of the two art forms, hip-hop and ballet, but as usual Patton and company set the city on fire with the flair that Outkast has been known for and in that respect the crowd was not disappointed.

Big Boi definitely had support from his musically family. There was the "Star Kitty" herself, Joi (fantastically fabulous if I may add), Bad Boy artist Jonelle Monae (adorned in a white tutu and ballet slippers), the sensuous Sleepy Brown, Konkrete, Khujo Goodie (formerly of Atlanta's Goodie Mob), Scar, the poetic Big Rube and Rock D...just to mention a few.

Although it was not a perfect performance, the exquisite choreography of the Atlanta Ballet was present. The moves were rightly timed, the body symmetry was in line and most of all you could see that a good time was had by all. The bridging of live instrumentation, unconventional/experimental ballet and the vocal bravado of hip hop took audiences to a space that was once a figment of imagination caught in a dream.

This project, a brain-child of Dee Dee Murray, Big Boi and John McFall was a visionary statement and was... well...BIG! Last night there was yet another message not only sent to hip hop fans everywhere but to the community at large and that message was to get down or lay down, hip hop is here to stay and we will forever be re-inventing ourselves and forever be an impression on your minds and lips. Ultimately, I think the bigger question still remains...When you get that voice, what is it that you will say?

Marinate on that!
Miss Know It All

Big Boi & the Atlanta Ballet Present the World Premier of ...BIG

Tornado Hits Downtown Atlanta!

These pictures are definitely enough to strike up a conversation about God and science, about prayers and the praying and about the reality of the strong and the weak and what your life is really about.

My husband and children were at the Hawks game when the storm hit. Hubby took the high road and got himself and the children to safety before the tornado planted its tail on Downtown Atlanta.

Driving to work this morning was eye opening. I work about 3-5 minutes from the CNN Center and to see the windows busted in the office buildings and hotels made me feel...well, that's just it. It gave me a feeling. I can't really describe what IT was but just a feeling. Maybe I'll call it thankfulness.

Tornado Hits Downtown Atlanta!