Dear Friends,
This year is already proving itself to be...well, interesting to say the least. Already I am having to make some tough decisions. Decisions that I should have made long ago. Like whether loving myself or loving someone else is more important. Sounds like an easy enough question I know. But when you are looking at an amazing love like the one I have had the privilege of experiencing, that question seems a little more difficult to answer. Don't get me wrong, I think that I am the bomb! Anyone that has had the pleasure of knowing me will tell you that I go through fazes when (LOL) I really do believe that. Thank God! Anyhoo, I believe part of making a lifetime commitment to someone is that sometimes our relationships require a little self sacrifice especially when its mutual. It's when it's not mutual that a problem arises. Or when a person decides that they are no longer willing to sacrifice because the cost is too great. But people, let me share something with you...ALL love has a price. I can't tell you what price you will pay for love in your life but it definitely costs! Some worth it and some you could have saved your breath for. But you and only you can make that decision for yourself.
I have lost great friends (male and female), family, jobs, my home, my health (mental and physical) and last but not least, what I believed to be the love of my life. Everything I have known for the last 18 years has been compromised. I have gone beyond my limits to revive these things. In my opinion, it was worth all of the sweat and tears behind it. But, what I have come to realize is that those things are gone and there is nothing that I can do about them. The great thing about all of them is that outside of love, it can all be either fixed or replaced.
If I can share anything about my experience with you its this, real unconditional love is out there. I have had it. It's wonderful and possible. And if you are at all a religious or spiritual person, don't let go of that. When I thought that God had left me for dead he showed up at the right time, his time and comforted me (well God and a few nights of handy prescriptions, lol). Don't be bitter it's not becoming of a real lady or gentleman. My grandma always says that you can catch more bees with honey than vinegar. And lastly if you are in a relationship that is not mentally and or physically abusive fight until you can't fight anymore. But remember that it has a cost!
I also want to say thank you to my friends and family that haven't left. I need you and love you. And will never forget that you have stood by me with a flashlight when I was in the dark. To my friends and family that have gone, I miss and love you. You remain a great part of who I am and who I will become.
I have a loooong road ahead of me and from what I hear I will come back to the light on my own one day. Until then I will keep running towards the end of the tunnel because I know that's where the light is supposed to be. LOL
Knowing EVERYTHING and NOTHING at the same time,
Miss Know It All
Mommy taught Taylor to make the perfect S'more. Mmmm,
The hanging of the key on the door for Santa to get in,
