As I begin to reflect on my life in order to see where I have been in terms of trying to figure out where I am going, I feel a great sense of loss. Don't get me wrong, I have lived a wonderful life but I find myself wondering, is this it? Has the best already been given to me and I was too busy reveling in the awe of it all that I couldn't grasp all that was truly meant for me and at the same time hold on to it without some of it spilling out of my hands and melting onto the floor?It's almost midnight in Atlanta, Georgia and for the first time that I can remember in quite sometime, I am alone on my birthdays eve. It may not seem like a big deal to many but tonight, this loneliness that I feel is meaning the world to me. That lack of that feeling like someone in this world is just as or more than excited about who you are and all of the hopes and dreams that you put into a single candled wish on your birthday.
Don't get me wrong, I love me and the intimate moments that I spend by myself and I do believe that if I can't be happy by myself then I won't be happy with anyone else but in all honesty, tonight, I'm missing those moments.
So at midnight, I will see what this new birth year brings. Perhaps a new attitude after a vodka induced sleep, a sweet phone call from the love of my life or maybe I'll just be hungover. At any rate, if Gods willing and the creek don't rise...I talk to you tomorrow.
Miss Know It All aka Birthday Girl
2 Wonderful Comments About This Post!:
im only 20 and probably lack as much wisdom as say a 50 yr old but i have experienced a lot. i think about my life and its future, if there is one, and the whats gonna happen to me getting there and when it all ends will it have been worth it.
you cant worry about that, if u worry about the future ull miss whats happening right now. ur life is what u make it... good or bad. it is up to you to make the best of each day. if uve had the worst day do ANYTHING to make you happy, all you need is a great laugh and ull remember that day forever.
now as far as feel you've let slip what was meant for you, i strongly disagree. you are super talented with this great outgoing personality and im not blowing smoke up ur ass! you know as well as i know that you are meant for something much more than this. dont let this job or ur personal situations ever keep you from thinking different.... as my mom would say "this too shall pass"
now i cant speak on lonliness cuz frankly im in the same boat but i can say im here if u just wanna hang out, i know it wont replace that feeling but hey it might take ur mind off of it!
ok... thats my 20yr old take on life thus far (20 has been a mind blowing year lol)luv ya! :)
Thank you so very much for your kind words. That's quite a mouth full for a 20 year old but GREAT advise none the less. I have been putting it all into perspective and I think that the outcome may shock even me. Stay tuned...
Post a Comment
Thank you so very much for supporting my blog. The time you spend here means the world to me.
Miss Know It All